Tomorrow is my birthday, the start of a new year in my life. Since I didn't quite stick to my resolutions from the more widely recognized New Year, going backwards more often than forwards, I have decided to set some new ones to start tomorrow. I'll be 23 and I think it is about time I get on track. So starting tomorrow, I will.....
- Exercise, damnit! I say this all the time. I say it yearly, monthly, weekly....daily! I need to exercise. The problem is, I find it boring. Part of me views this as an indication that I have moved on from some of my aggression of the past. It used to be easy to find motivation to run by turning to some anger or resentment I was harboring toward a certain someone in the recent past. But at the moment I find myself...apathetic. So from now on, I need new inspiration. And when inspiration lacks, I need self control. The ability to tell myself to do something and actually get it done. I will wake up at 6am, actually get out of bed, and move forward toward progress. That extra hour of sleep isn't worth the guilt I feel at the end of the say or terror of putting on an item of clothing that used to fit perfectly and having to dig out my older, larger pants.
- Stop procrastinating....and forgetting. I do that a lot. I will tell myself to do something as soon as I get home and in the time it takes to walk from the metro to my apartment, completely forget. I suppose I'll need some sort of system for this but I'll work something out. Carry a notebook, perhaps.
-Clean thoroughly and often. Clean my bedroom, clean the kitchen, clean my email inbox, clean my body, clean, clean, clean. I need to declutter. I have a lot of stuff I never use and it is time to downsize. Part of me kept thinking I just needed more space. For the past couple years I have been saying to myself "my room is too small...it's impossible to be organized when things don't fit." Well, why do I need so much stuff? The answer...I don't!
- Go do shit. I need to get out more. Plain and simple. Maybe I need to learn to be alone better and go do things by myself. But I would much rather have people to do stuff with. Any takers?
- STOP BEING NERVOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING! The prospect of moving, the idea of getting a new job, the chance of encounters with strangers. I need to chill out.
Those are the big ones. I'm sure if I thought about it, I could come up with a million small things I need to do to be a better me. But I am also going to try to stop obsessing over things like that. I'm a pretty good version of myself. I felt so out of whack for so long that it has been an interesting and difficult journey reclaiming myself over the past year and a half. But I feel comfortable now. Bring it on, 23!
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