Cooking Challenge

Ok people, I have my first challenge. Drum roll please..........

Sourdough bread! I have never made it before and I will admit that I am a little afraid of the whole making a starter and feeding it thing but I think I can handle it.

I am currently awaiting instructions for the starter from Tea & Cookies.

I'm trying to think of a clever title for the upcoming series of posts but so far all I got is "Foodie Friday". This is fine but I doubt I will be in the mood to cook and/or post on Fridays, seeing as I am a 20something living in Arlington and have committed my Friday nights to more elicit activities. I will keep thinking. "Tasty Tuesday"? That one sounds a little dirty....

Also, throughout this challenge, I promise to take pictures of the things I make. Of course, I am notoriously bad at remembering to take pictures of anything I do (despite my minor in photography...or possibly because of it). But this time will be different. I know it. I can feel it. We'll see.

Tea & Cookies Cooking Challenge

In an effort to branch out with my cooking and to up my blogging, I've decided to participate in the Tea & Cookies Cooking Challenge. Each month, there will be a new "challenge" based on the suggestions made by myself and the other participants. I'm so excited to find out what we'll be doing!

The suggestions I see so far are all good ones. Croissants, souffles, cheese. I suggested a bread recipe that adds a little something extra. Since I started cooking, I have only made bread a handful of times. I have never made one with a filling or mix in and I am anxious to try it. Should they pick it for one of the monthly challenges, this is will give me that extra incentive and some assistance as well. I am mostly looking forward to the things people suggest that I haven't even thought of.

I'm going to try to write more about my cooking in general because it's something that I really love. I've started to experiment more also. Recipes are becoming guidelines rather than strict instructions and it is getting easier for me to improvise my own combinations of flavors, tweaking something I've done or coming up with something new on the spot.

Now, keep in mind I am working full time, attempting to pull together a social life and stick to a regular exercise routine. So on nights like this, after a looooong day at work then an unusually difficult 1.5 mile run, I am not cooking. Tonight, I popped a frozen twice baked potato in the over for 45 minutes then followed it by an extra chocolate turtle my roommate was kind enough to share.

Stay tuned for more food!

**ERROR: TITLE CENSORED**

Yes. The internet is difficult to control, copyright infringements happen and information is leaked that was meant to stay private. But let's take a moment to consider who that mostly affects. The answer is people with money, people with power, people who make their living by declaring they have special rights to something and others are not allowed to touch it. "This is mine. You can't have it. Unless you pay me. And even when you pay me, it still belongs to be and you cannot share it." This is the concept that censoring the internet attempts to protect and perpetuate. The "American Dream" has turned into a race to gain as much as possible then hoard it, preventing others from "stealing". The main issue with piracy is...what? Music, movies, tv shows, etc. all get leaked and spread for free. If the main goal of these forms of media is to entertain, why does this seem to be one of the top issues in our society? It is a problem that demands so much attention because people with money believe they are being denied the excess which they are due. They made the movie and they deserve to be paid for every minute somebody watches is. Sure, they were paid to make it and still receive an exorbitant amount for the legal showings that are occurring but the illegal viewings, the downloads, the burnings, these acts deny them that little extra they deserve. That fact is entertainers do not want to entertain you. They want make a movie, thank you publicly for your support and awards, then head home to their mansion and burn some more of your money.

So now the government seeks to censor the web to stop piracy. In doing so, they hurt social media, smaller websites, and those that offer free information and entertainment. They are cutting off an arm to stop when they view as a difficult rash. And that arm belongs to us. This is just one more legislative move backed by the higher-ups in order to crack down on the holes in their earnings. Yes, stealing is bad and piracy is a form of stealing but should this much effort really be funneled into cracking down on somebody stealing a $20 bill from a millionaire's pocket? If the rich gave back to the economy rather than hoarding their money, building estates, then insisting they not be taxed so much and they are showered with gifts, the economy might improve. Consequentially, the idea of downloading a movie rather than paying $13 to go see it in theaters would not be so enticing.

Think of the money that our government is spending on this issue, on pushing this bill forward. Please, focus on other, more important things. Poverty. People dying on the streets because they cannot afford to feed themselves while you bitch about somebody watching your movie or listening to your music without paying you for it (when you claim to do it because you love to entertain people and want your "art" to affect others). I recognize there are other forms of more serious piracy than entertainment. Web developments, computer programs, and other actual products but I am willing to bet the majority of them feed money into bloated, gluttonous corporate mouths. Show me where the fight against piracy focuses on helping "the little people" and I will eat my words. Unless they have already been taken from me...

Final point. Laws passed that seek to crack down on illegal action rarely have the desired affect in this sort of circumstance. The people who are endorsing and enabling piracy are already disregarding regulations and will continue to do so. This new censorship will detrimentally affect law-abiding companies and websites.

Let the internet be. https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Love people. Cook them good food.

Well folks, it is the middle of January and my old friend Mr. Belly Pooch is considerably more present than I recall him being prior to the holiday season. What is it about the end of the year that begs for food, food, and more food? I know exactly what it is. When you love somebody, you show it through sharing a meal.

It is no secret that I love to cook. Not just for myself, but for others. Because, really, who enjoys just cooking for themselves? What could be better than offering your friends and loved ones a nice, warm, home cooked meal full of delicious, meticulously (or experimentally) combined ingredients, accompanied by some wine and conversation?

Here in lies my problem. I love to cook. I love to bake. I want to eat all of the things I cook and bake. And the belly pooch is pleased to accept every last carb and calorie.

So I go to the gym 5 times a week and I run on the treadmill and I do squats and I do sit ups. And while there are countless (somewhat) inspirational memes out there telling me "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips" or "abs are made in the gym and revealed in the kitchen", I just can't fight the need to cook something and consume it.

I cannot live on salad because, frankly, salads made at home tend to suck pretty hard. Give me chicken picatta or herb crusted salmon or bacon wrapped sirloin or chipotle chicken and rice. I want something that I can cultivate. I want to gather the ingredients, prepare my kitchen, and slowly pull something fantastic together. There is something about the process that pulls me in, possibly more than the end product. I don't take shortcuts. You will not find any canned "cream of something or other" in the recipes I use. It is just so much more rewarding (and delicious) to work for it.

I am forever holding out hope that my metabolism will get the hint and speed up on its own. Is that not how that works? Oh well. Now bring on the take-out-at-home General Tso chicken!

Some random thoughts

I am not coherent enough at the moment to form a pulled together a proper-sentence-structure-and-ordered-paragraphs type of post today. So I offer you some random thoughts:

- Farro and edamame with a fried egg on top is possibly my new favorite post-workout meal.

- I love Wizards of Waverly Place. I legitimately love it.

- Contrary to my previous post, I believe the answer to whatever causes one woe is both chocolate AND running. I made cupcakes and ran 4 miles.

- The Giants beat the Packers! This brings me joy and those of you who know me, will know why (and while my love for Eli binds me to the Giants, that only accounts for 50% of the elation I felt seeing them grate some cheeseheads last night).

- I just found a t-shirt from highschool. I put it on and it is very tight and far too short. When I purchased it (and presumably wore it), I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now. How does that work?

- The difference 8 years can make in a person is astounding, especially at the developmental stage we are all floating around in for the duration of highschool/college.

The Sunroom

When we were searching for apartments, my roommates and I had a difficult time finding a place with three rooms, especially in the location we wanted and the price range we had settled on (if we are being perfectly honest, the price issue was my fault. I seem to be the poorest of the bunch). We stumbled across the building we now live in, The Meridian. They have 1 and 2 bedroom apartments but some floor plans have a "sunroom" that the majority of residents use as a 3rd bedroom. Paying the least of the three, it was fairly obvious I would be in the sunroom. I went to look at the apartment and fell in love. It was so charming and lacked the unidentifiable odor that some of the others on our list possessed. And again, for the sake of honesty, I was swayed a bit by the dozen or so beautiful people I saw wandering the premises. I looked at the sunroom, my soon-to-be new home, and thought "It doesn't look that much like a sunroom. Really it's just a normal room with no closet and big window." Ha! It is absolutely classified correctly. This room is SUNNY.

We have lived here for a few months now and I have developed a love/hate relationship with the apartment. The sunroom is, really, only mildly inconvenient. It gets very cold in here at night because it's not as well insulated as the rest of the place. I solved this problem with a space heater and a blanket that I strategically wrap around the top of my head before going to sleep. It gets rather bright in here but that is only an issue when I am hungover, which seems to happen less and less frequently as the exhaustion of working a full time job further paralyzes me on Friday nights. I solved the problem of see-through doors with brown wrapping paper. I had every intention to decorate this make shift wallpaper with my own photographs and artwork. So far, 1/3 of one section has decoration and another section contains only my compiled list of exercises, posted there as a failing attempt to motivate myself into a daily routine.

My room is beautiful, architecturally speaking. The doors open up to a surprisingly large room and across is a big bay window of sorts in which I have nestled my bed. It is large enough to comfortably fit all of my furniture. I love it. I love the way the extra sunlight shines off of the gold trim on my dresser. I love the way I can open all of my blinds and sunbathe. I love looking out over the courtyard and being able to see just beyond the other buildings.

All in all, I love this place. The kitchen could be better ventilated and maybe my room could be a tad less bright at 8am. But I think our 3 decorating styles blended together fantastically and I am perfectly comfortable spending the day in my bed, on the couch, or on the living room floor, should the mood call for it.

Tonight my exercise pants aren't dirty with sweat, blood, and tears due to any effort I put forth in the gym. No no. Tonight, I lounge on the couch, wrapped in a fleece blanket with Cinderella's castle on it. My nice, black exercise capris are covered in flour and the chocolate cupcakes are in the over, baking to perfection. Instead of exercising, I baked...and I refuse to feel guilty about it.

You know, sometimes exercise is not the answer. Most of the time, it is. A good workout can lift almost any weary spirit. A good sweat-fest can make you feel elated and high from the endorphins coursing through your warm veins. You will, without a doubt, feel better about a workout tomorrow than you will about the undetermined number of chocolate cupcakes you will consume. Exercise would be better in almost any situation. Almost.

I say almost because in some situations, on some days, chocolate is better. You find out your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend. You have spent the majority of the past three weeks reading depositions by individuals that hardly speak English and yet there are still 100 pages left. Work, bills, the cleanliness of your living quarters (or lack there of) and your questionable hygiene habits. When all of this builds up, the only thing that can cut through the haze and grime is chocolate. Undiluted, down and dirty chocolate. And not a piece of chocolate. A mound of chocolate cake, sweet and moist and brimming with sin.

So here I sit, in my flour-dusted exercise pants, as the scent of chocolate envelops me, whispering, "It's ok. The first one won't count. Or the second."

Wine and Love

Wine and Love is something a friend of mine does weekly on her blog. I thought I would give it a try because I need to wine about some stuff (and I might as well throw in some love for good measure). This is supposed to happen on Thurdays but I am a bit late to do most things. I will get on track next weekend....maybe.

Wine and love is hosted by Nora. Want to join? Read this page for the meme instructions and grab the picture. The go to Walking With Nora to link up!

Wine, Wine, Wine:

- This is the first full work week I have had in a month. It has been a long one.

- Reading depositions of meat plant workers. Their job conditions sound so miserable. After reading 4 depositions I am considering swearing off meat. My more attainable solution is to buy meat from an organic butcher.

- Reading depositions by individuals that do not speak English well. I do not mean to be insensitive to the fact that some people do not speak English as their first language. However, I need to express how frustrating it is to read a page over and over again just to figure out what information they are trying to convey so that I can record it, then, on the following page, they realize they did not understand the question and answer in a completely different way.

- Lack of motivation. I gave myself a small vacation from exercising and restricting my diet over the holidays and I can't quite get back into the same groove I has achieved before. I get bored halfway through my runs and it feels much easier to crash on the couch as soon as I get home. And really, I'm not really fat....so why bother?

- Boy drama. The ex has a new flame and most of my latest flirtations have fizzled. 'Nough said.

- Crying in public. Do I really need to elaborate on that one?

- The increasingly foul odor on the metro.

Warm and Fuzzy love:

- Dinners with friends. Last night I had dinner with some friends I have known for a while but have yet to spend really "friendy" time with (it was a best friend's sister and her recent fiance). The food was delicious, the company was grand, and the decor in their apartment roused some envy.

- Nice weather. Even though the weather has been bipolar lately, the sunshine is lovely. I don't mind the cold if the sun comes through.

- Endorphins. Despite my lack of motivation, I managed a 3 mile run the other day and at the end of if, I remembered why I had been running so regularly. Nothing beats the mood lift from exercise. If only I can push through....

-Cooking. Some days it is hard to pass up the quick pasta with a jar of sauce. But when I am not too tired to put in the effort and I actually begin the process of making myself (and most often, a friend or two) a real meal, I remember why I love it. Bringing together flavors is so exciting. Knowing that your effort is going to taste better than that package of ramen and be better for you is worth the process. So are the compliments that those you feed inevitably give.

- My roommates. Coming home to these girls helps me feel better even after a week like the one I just had. Tonight we are spending some quality time with our couch and TV, each curled up with our respective favorite blankets, watching Breaking Bad.

Peter Pan Syndrome at its Finest

I do not want to get old and become a parent. It will happen and I am sure I'll feel better prepared for it in the distant (or not so distant?) future. Then again, will I? When couples get married, are they really prepared for the new life they are stepping into? You have a child and you are a now a parent to somebody. And you have to watch them, guide them, set an example for them. But you're no longer expected to go out and make mistakes. Your mistakes happened and you learned from them and now you must teach. The thought of transitioning from kid to parent terrifies me.

What brought this about is a text I received from my mom. I told her about the time I had at trivia with my roommates and some friends. We squeezed a large table into a small space, ate some deep friend food (mostly smothered in cheese), drank beer, and answered menial questions. It is pretty much the epitome of what being a 20 something is about. My mom responded that she had told my Dad she would like something like that, to go to a trivia night.

.....what?

That sounds so strange to me. Picturing my mom and dad in that bar, drinking that beer, eating that food, and answering those questions. But why is that so strange? They were once my age and they did those things. Furthermore, I'm sure that past doesn't feel as distant to them as it seems to me. (And I will just take this time to tell you that, by any standard, my mother was far cooler than me when she was younger. She had that ability to just exist and be wonderful. In it's place, I have been filled with awkwardness of unknown origin. I mean come on. The woman majored in photography, moved to California after graduation, got an apartment on the beach, and opened a store to sell jewelry she made. This all in addition to the fact that she had a fairly bangin' body. Just, come on.)

There was a time somewhere between puberty and college graduation where this all dawned on me. I began to see my parents as human beings who once had lives of their own, completely separate from each other, in which I was not even a thought. Then they met, got married, had my brother then me and began directing all of their energies toward making sure we grew up well (or as well as is possible...but that is a different post). The not-so-immediately-realized aspect of this moment of clarity is as follows: as our parents, they still have the desire to do the same things as when they were younger and most of those desires similar to our own. Go out, drink, have...relations...and whatever other things we are young enough to get away with. Have fun.

And when I realized all of this, when the weight of how my life had affected not only one but two people so permanently, I felt terrible. I felt guilty for every time I yelled at them, every hug I denied my mother, every gift they gave me, everything. Because they are people. And how would I feel if I devoted my life to somebody and they had the nerve to slam their bedroom door in my face, refuse to wash the dishes, and throw their many possession (that I had purchased for them) all over the house I had just cleaned? I don't even like it when my roommates use my expensive knife wrong! Yet somehow, I still cannot appreciate my mother and father enough. I don't return phone calls, I don't visit often enough, and I continue to take all they offer me...but god forbid my mother ask me to rub her feet. Yikes. I am a terrible person. But in this sense, aren't we all?

So how does one handle the transition from being the fun, young person into birthing and nurturing that fun, young person until they slowly slip away from you into their own life? I don't know. And I absolutely do not want to find out yet.

Why is it that some people just can't seem to win? Whats the difference between the people who get to be happy and those who don't? Because I can't see it.

*Update* Upon returning to this blog in the past week (January 2012), I find it only the slightest bit disheartening that I still share this sentiment. Have I really not progressed in the past 2 years?