Ok ok ok. I know. I am terrible at keeping up with this blog. But I have an excuse...I promise! I have been sick lately. And eating a lot, which takes up most of my time. Like, I am not kidding. I get home and I eat until I go to sleep. The dent in my favorite couch cushion is proof of this. I have been in full on hibernation mode. I mostly blame J who has been busy or out of town for the past few weekends, leaving me to fend for my self in terms of social planning. When I am left to my own devices, I tend to opt out of interacting with others. Isn't it exhausting? Smiling, laughing, having fun? Psh, give me an unwatched TV series and a bowl of pretty much anything bad for me and I am good to go.
And then there is the blog. I am usually so busy reading the thousands of blogs I subscribe to that I completely forget that I have my own. But here I am because I love you and I have made a commitment. In sickness and in health (which I'm not sure which one I exist in at the moment), for richer and poorer (definitely in the latter on that), as long as we both (or I) shall live.
What to tell you about? Ah, here is something good. I had to get four fillings in the past two weeks. I know what you're thinking. Geez, this chick needs to brush her damn teeth and lay off the sugar. But no. I brush my teeth and I pretty much detest sugary candy (chocolate however, is a completely different story). These are the first cavities I have had since childhood-bordering-on-adolescence. AND two of them were around existing fillings! Totally not my fault! So anyway, back to the story.
Last week, I got my top two done, the ones around existing fillings. I get in the chair and the first thing I do is inform the dental hygienist that I DO NOT like needles. I had a tooth pulled when I was a child and I would not let the dude give me a numbing shot. Yeah, I am that girl. So she tells me that dentist can take a look and since its a small filling I might not need a shot. Now I get a little embarrassed and qualify my previous statement with "I mean, I won't be a baby about it. I'm 22...so if I need the shot, I will man up and take it......but if not, that would be great." Dentist takes a look and decides that because he is taking out pre-existing fillings, shots will be necessary. He does some cheek shaking voodoo distraction and it works like a charm. Then I feel like an idiot. Because shots are not that bad people. This is the same shame that I experienced after riding a roller coaster for the first time two summers ago (mind you, upon my return to Kings Dominion, having already ridden all the roller coasters in the park, I was still scared shitless and refused to ride half of them). The dentist does his thing, I leave, the numbness wears off after about an hour, and I head into work.
Now, here is where the story gets good. Wednesday morning, I had to go in to get two more teeth fixed because there was some decay (such a dire way of putting it) in between. This time, a technician numbs me instead of the dentist. She gives me two giant shots of evil whatever. Pretty soon, the entire left side of my mouth is numb. Then the left side of my tongue. Then my cheek. Then my ear. Doctor does his thing, makes a comment about how oddly numb I am, and tells me it should wear off in an hour. On the car ride home, my dad calls me so he can hear me garble my words and a lisp my way through a Novocain-ed conversation. He also assures me it will only last another hour or so.
Back in my apartment, I attempt to nap on the couch until the numbness subsides but wind up watching TV instead. About 45 minutes pass and I realize I am starving because I didn't eat before my appointment. But what does one eat when numb? I figured something liquid-y, like yogurt, would be a safe bet because it doesn't require chewing. This, my dear readers, was a terrible mistake. The tongue is much more important in the consumption of yogurt than I imagined, guiding it to the back of your mouth rather than allowing it to spill out of the corners. When your tongue and half your mouth are numb, do not eat yogurt.
I abandoned the idea of eating and waited another hour. Now I was 2 hours into the numbness with no sign of it ever stopping. I watched reruns of The OC, dreaming of the beautiful breakfast feast I could consume if my mouth would only function. I couldn't go to work yet because I am receptionist and I am sure plaintiffs do not want to call in and speak to somebody who can't, well...speak.
Another hour passes and by now I am fairly certain something has gone terribly wrong and I will just have to learn to live with a numb face. I eat a banana using what I will from now on have to refer to as "the good side of my mouth". I'm panicked and hungry and sleepy. Then....the numbness subsides. Slowly, I can feel my ear, then my cheek, then my tongue, until finally only a small part of my lip is still numb. I inhaled some eggs and left for work, rolling in four hours late and explaining to everyone the horror I had just endured.
So in the course of two weeks, the dentist went from slightly unlikeable, to not as bad as I thought, then right back to horrifying.
Oh, and by the end of the day I had a raging head cold. Yeah. Best week ever.
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