Seems harmless, right? But when somebody hurts you, it becomes an all consuming thought that you are not allowed to share. It's a secret. It feels dirty, missing this person who showed such blatant disregard for your feelings, using your heart as a tissue then promptly disposing of what was left.
When you are the one who ends a relationship, you don't get to miss the other person. There will be no midnight phone calls while intoxicated, begging for their warmth. You made the decision to leave and everything that happens after must prove it was the right choice. Even if the split was the result of an unforgivable act they committed, you made the ultimate decision to leave and it is now your job to uphold it. So bottle it up. Outwardly, your life becomes a string of extravagant parties and delicious lovers. Ex-boyfriend who?
In a way, the dumpee has it easy. They have no reason to be strong. They have been dumped! of course they can break down! Of course they are going to express their now unrequited love! And then they will move on. And that, my dear readers, is probably the hardest part for the dumper. When your hand was forced into a break up and you are not allowed to tell the other person you miss them, hearing them say it to you is the most comfort you will get. Turning around isn't an option...but our eyes are still glued to the rear-view mirror. And yes, it is unhealthy to hold on to that but it happens, so lets just all admit that and move on.
But one day, those messages stop. They will stop talking to you because, turns out, you were not the love of their life. They no longer view you as the best they were going to have and the one thing that they will always regret losing. Now they have another "dream girl" and she is a fresh start. With her, they can do all the things they were too young, too afraid, and too stupid to do with you. They can love her fully. But first, they have to let you go. And there is nothing you can do about it because you are the one who left. And your life is now a constant rave so why would you care anyway?
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